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Play to Win-Win

Posted on Mar 15th, 2006 by Cynthia : realityshifter Cynthia

Cynthia Sue LarsonCynthia Sue Larson playing double solitaire; a "win-win" positive sum game

      "The Law of Win/Win says, ''Let's not do it your way or my way; let's do it the best way" -- Greg Anderson
My favorite card game is something I call 'double solitaire.' It's a version of Klondike solitaire that is played with two players and two decks of cards. While the one-player version of Klondike is almost impossible to win, double solitaire is winnable just about every time... provided both players cooperate so all fourteen stacks are cleared, all Aces found, and all cards played in sequence by suit from Ace to King. When one player wins at double solitaire, both players win, since their fates are intertwined in this collaborative game. Double solitaire directly challenges the widespread assumption that for one to do well in life, others must necessarily suffer. Game theorists call systems of competition for limited resources zero-sum games, because the number of points or winnings is fixed so some players must lose in order for one player to win. Zero-sum games such as checkers, chess, or poker and 'survivor' style television programs popularize the notion that there is only so much money, love, and success to go around. Once it's established that someone is winning big, people often assume that others (including themselves) must be missing out, in much the same way they'd figure they won't get much cake when they see someone walk by with a gigantic slice. Such scarcity beliefs are often at the root of peoples' doubts about their ability to succeed, and contribute to an underlying reluctance to genuinely celebrate the successes of others, since people tend to think to themselves "there goes my chance."
galaxies
Fortunately for all of us, we live in a universe which appears to be expanding at an accelerating rate, growing increasingly larger by the moment. This very simple fact is worthy of consideration, since it implies ever-increasing opportunity. Galaxies are not collapsing in on themselves, but are stretching out. Intuitively, we can envision ourselves best fitting into this expanding universe by choosing to stretch our abilities and branch out. And as we are stretching, we can consider how one of the best ways to broaden ourselves is through cooperation with others. In direct contrast to the zero-sum mindset, positive-sum games are based on the premise that players all gain or suffer together in a situation of expanding opportunity... like our expanding universe... so it's possible for everyone to win more often than not. When we play positive-sum games like double solitaire, we can discover how to improve our cooperative style. Games are a wonderful way to find answers to questions we don't otherwise ask ourselves, such as, "Are you able to ask for what you need when you need it?" and "Do you notice when you have something that others can make best use of, and do you offer it?" As scientists are discovering that even chimpanzees notice who collaborates better than others, you can be assured that your neighbors, family, friends and colleagues are noticing, too!
Wishing you all the best that love and life have to offer, Cynthia Sue Larson email Cynthia at cynthia@realityshifters.com
Access_public Access: Public 7 Comments Print views (936)  
Tagged with: cooperation, intuition, games, win-win, double solitaire, solitaire, zero-sum, zero sum, win win, chimpanzees, collaboration, game theory, Klondike
8 minutes later
Bo said

Cynthia,

I love this practical lesson in togetherness.  Can I reprint?  (occasionally publish a newsletter or go blogging.)  Thanks!

Love, Bo

Cynthia : realityshifter
10 minutes later
Cynthia said

Thanks for the speedy comment! Yes, of course it’s fine to reprint! Please include a by-line with my name, Cynthia Sue Larson, and my web site, www.realityshifters.com

Jodi : Goddess
about 16 hours later
Jodi said


Thank you for being you and shining your light on more of the truth of the good in the world. I love your double solitaire analogy. Wonderful article. You are an inspiration to me. Shine on, my friend!

Love,
Jodi

Shelly : Petrepreneur- Pay It Forward Pets
about 18 hours later
Shelly said

I always love your positive perspective on life Cynthia. You write beautifully as well. Thanks for keeping us fed with gourmet soul food. Love you, Shelly

2 days later
Diane said

I love this game! I am going to teach it to my 9 year old son tomorrow morning. I wish there were more collaborative games like this out there. Thanks for the great idea.
Diane

Sunny : Following Domestic Bliss
4 days later
Sunny said

“Such scarcity beliefs are often at the root of peoples’
doubts about their ability to succeed, and contribute to an underlying
reluctance to genuinely celebrate the successes of others, since people
tend to think to themselves 'there goes my chance.'”

I like the way Wayne Dyer describes the Universe in his book, The Power of Intention.  He lists its qualities as creative, kind, loving, beautiful, expansive, abundant, and receptive.  When you expect to find these things, and realize that they are available to all of us, you set up a self-fulfilling cycle, and the infinite resources of the Universe move within our reach.

I hadn't thought about double solitaire in a long time.  I used to play it with my kids all the time!  I, too, wish there were more such games available.  The “competitive spirit” is over-emphasized to our young people.  I'd love to see more cooperative activities available to them… and all of us.

Great thoughts!

Cynthia : realityshifter
12 days later
Cynthia said

I like the qualities of the universe you cite from “The Power of Intention.” It reminds me of one of the discussions currently running on the
href=”http://pods.zaadz.com/how_good_can_it_get”>How Good Can It Get? pod here at Zaadz… where people are sharing their favorite values… the ones they have now, and the values they’ve had in the past. Please feel free to join in the discussion, because there are some really wonderful values being mentioned there!

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